He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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