There is no way he is gay with that hair.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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