This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
