Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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