I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
