Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
