brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
