i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
