shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
My ass is underappreciated
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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