well you can't waste a boner
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
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