I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
