I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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