from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
