Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
