she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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