At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
