I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
