Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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