At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
