so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
