Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
he puts the penis in happiness.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
