Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Enjoy the penises
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
