well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
