ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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