The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
