My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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