Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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