If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
