He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
