If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
