i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
it glows. i had to have it.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
i now understand why vodka
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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