he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
