No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
