i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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