I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
