i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
