I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
