I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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