dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
my poor anus
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
