I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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