What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Randomize
