after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
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