I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
this will be a night to untag.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
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