apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
