i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Randomize
