in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
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