Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
