3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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