Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
do nipples grow back?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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