ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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