my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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