Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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