***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
