Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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