Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
